did she know???

question in my heart n in my mind

did she know what im feeling
everytime waiting for her
insane to think but must accept the weakness of other
well not everybody perfect

did she know that i feel emptiness
every time she missing
and when im in trouble
well she not my wife to be with me all the time

did she know i cried
maybe im  a loser

but the fact is im so weak..

maybe she never notice that

did she know i made so may mistake
that i tried to fix it
without anybody helping
maybe im just stupid

but the question me the most is

did i know how she been
did i know how many time she cried
did i know what she been trhough
did i know how she feel..

the truth is...i dun know anything...i just put so much hope n so little effort....

im the smiley with the heart..

my heart can cry....because im a human too

the man with the smile,that's me

smiling where ever path i walk to

trying to hide waht inside

maybe fear,maybe frustration or loneliness

im the smiley with the heart

that so fragile n easily broken

it easy to scratch and easy to cripple

that has shredded many time that sometime its take time to fix

so if get my heart im begging u
plis take care of it gently
polish it every time so it could shine
never let it alone cause it get cold and lost|

im sorry if im too difficult to take care of

im sorry if im too hard to understand of

the only thing my heart want is an accompany

cause its been lonely for a long time...

고독한(lonely)

p/s:ya allah berilah aku kekuatan agar aku dpt harungi kesunyian ini...dgn dekat kan diri ku pada MU ..amin

everyday is the same story
everyday feeling the same
the same situation
i just dun know how to let it out

i tried crying
i tried talking
i tried keeping
it still the same

why i feel this way
cant just i forget her for a while..
let her go just for a minute
eliminating this feeling

its true im just lonely

its do border me

i can hide it from the world n even her

but i cant hide from myself

there's a person that i used to talk to
that i used to joke about..
that always care about me
even though im nobody

she text me when im nothing
she accompany me when im a goner

now it change,lets face the fact
people move on

they left u behind 

u just try to hold

eventually they will slip n gone

cry all day u want its still happen

i want to be the strong person
but the fact is im not
im hopeless n egoist
just face it

im a lonely person
try to survive
i guest that i just rely on a person to much
that when she gone,i m lost my way

to love somebody is a risk

to be understanding is hurtful
to care about somebody is responsibility

to stop loneliness is so hard..

i never change

i know im confused..but the thing is i never change..not even for a minute

u talk to me like im a strange

said that ive has change
say its your fault
but inside u just wrong

i never change and still the same guy
that comfort u when u in trouble
that listen to all ur thought
n speak lovely word for u to sing along

the only thing is u never there now
there no one to comfort to
only a person that has secrets
n i juz stop to sang the word

im still here
cuz i ve have no where to go
i never change
cuz im still the person that love u....

reminder:she waiting for u..

time past by pretty quick
that i couldn't count how much i fell so lonely
alhamdulillah it make me more closer to Allah
maybe far away from you

it hurt to wait n ignore the feeling

feel like the man that cant be move
let time past by just to take her out of my mind
i know she luv me

maybe i fell forgotten
time after time
u get used to it...
although it still the same feeling

i hate this feeling
but i luv her more..
u got a good girl
never let her her go

the pain i feel
the cry in my heart
is just the thing that make me somebody...
just one thing make me survive

thinking she waiting for me...
im just being selfish
the horrible me..
stop being a moron and start being somebody...

she'19

i wrote her a song
so it could be a memory all along...

the title : 3 word

tepat pukul 12 pagi
teringat pada si pujaan hati
lalu kunyanyikan nukilan ini
hanya 3 perkataan untuk diungkap
SELAMAT HARI JADI

everyday the same situation
sometimes it drive me crazy
n sometimes i just want to forget
the 3 word of my feeling is
I  MISS U

setiap masa ku nantikan
agar berlalu untk ku sampaikan
tidak jemu kuungkap
3 perkataaan untuk ku luahkan
SAYA SAYANG AWAK

dis perfect...im 19

im 19...baru aku sedar mcm2...when 18 aku fikir nk enjoy je...msuk 19 aku stat fikir...pe yg aku nk buat dlm hidup ni...does it mean that im starting to be matured...hope so...sweet 19 myself....

ku tahu di dalam dunia tade yg sempurna
kerana kesempuraan hanya milik yg esa...
tidak kusedari dan terus ku lalai
hingga bertimpa peringatan untuk aku


dtg nye peringatan  ku hiraukan
dtg nya petunjuk ku endahkan
sehingga cinta dtg bru ku sedari
aku masih tak sempurna

mungkin kerana tiada cara lain
hanaya cinta yg sedarkan aku 
betapa jauh nye aku dri cintaNYA
terima kasih cinta....

dan KAU turun kan pembimbing
yg ku gelar sahabat..
yg membuka mata ku seluas nye...
sungguhnya aku dh hanyut

kini baru aku membuka mata
sedikit aku cuba kembali
kini mula menadah tangan
merangkak perlahan untuk sujud pada MU

it is not space ,but it is distance

how they are together still a mystery

how is the relationship is still a question

so the song begins

........................
she so far away from the romeo
away that to far that she cant see him
push the limit of loyalty and love
can they survive the wave of longing


as he wait for the juliet
  hewas lonely that he keep high hope forher
waiting for a call or just perhaps a message
maybe an asking about her for today


the juliet is too busy or 
perhaps just wanted to give some space
so that he would not feel trapped
without her knowing that he is slowly slipping from her


the guy need companion not space
that is not space that she gave in but a distance
a distance that further her from him
that maybe lost her from him

ME WITH THE FAKE SMILE

to all the black hearted  that talk about me just by seeing the outside of me..
from the start i try to figure out why i hated them..and now i know why....i just want to swear all out...

i fake my smile 

as it is hard to give a real smile 

when my heart was filled with shattered hope

and my mind filled with dark cloud.

yes I'm a jerk but a jerk that has heart

people talked about me

telling bullshit that they think is true

while i become the  antagonist in this world

they just talked and talked

now i know why i hated them

it is because of them

that rotten my heart

i can tell u that im ok with it

but im a human being and i get offended

so dont talk bullshit about me.

because u should know what a rotten heart could do

the memory...the thing thatt should be erased...

the nightmare that haunt me,

the thing from the past that just keep on coming

to show me what is like to be a loner

and becoming a dark hearted man

the room full with people but yet still empty

no one to talk too and to be understand

sitting in the corner hoping all would end

just a fake smile to please all the viewers

they talked and talked with no stop

while i just looking for something that please me

so i wont feel this emptiness

but it just foolish that are inside of me

everybody said its their best memory

but i think it otherwise..

as it just hurts me inside thinking of it

better to get rid the memory inside of me

this memory is killing me

thinking of it make me scream inside

from the beginning to the end still the same

as they laugh while i cry inside the darkened heart.

others sweet memories is my horrifying memory

they said it was the best thing happen to them
each second to be remembered,

its their victory that they had achieve

by using selfishness and cruelty

my stupidity and my kindness back stabbed me

now i know it juz you,the champion among all

the culprit that hide in the shadow of glory

you show the world you are the best

remember this wording that are in me

you also show me the dark side of me

and it surely is the valueble lesson.

and i make sure my dark side will overshadow all

it is the best memory for you

and a dark black memory for me

each second is pain and misery

the victory is yours and the death is mine

the unfold story

story of two heart,

romeo's heart just realize shes the one

while for the Juliet the feeling starts blooming

in the darkest night both covers their feeling

while both start acting

came the dark knight with a shining armor

has no clue about both feeling

he then take the move that the romeo should has taken

the romeo is slow while juliet is clueless..

both playing tricks and clues

to meke each other realize

hoping to be together

just one decision shifted all of the feeling
the juliet became eager for the love

the dark knight move forward

while the romeo walks away

nothing can be done by romeo

as the dark knight conquer the kingdom of heart

broken romeo search his way

leaving the Juliet in despair

no one to blame in this..

just fate turn the world of all

the unfold story that will kill the knight

as it has kill the romeo...

THE TROUBLE me

I have an angel that always be with me... the thing that i gave her is pain and hurt...

i'm standing still waiting to be help
to get me through this hard time
praying an angel would guide me

give me strength so that i will move on

then she came to me
with the light to show me the way..
i feel calm, i have the reason to move on
she show the way,she show the path,she show me life

but what i gave her is pain 

and hurt that leave a scar on her heart
the angel cry alone while i started laughing
how cruel is me,to let the angel to despair

well the blame is on me 

as i keep on putting the burden on her
i should have known that i should juz be alone

as i was the devil  all this while

the pain is killing me....

PLEASE DONT STOP THE PAIN

how the world seem to play me

making me feel like a puppet

put a scar in my heart and juz walk away

feel no emotions but only pain

sometimes all we need is hope

but hope sometimes that kills us

hope make us see thing

but hope is the one that make people blind

we always do our best at something that we love

but fate can change all the effort we put on

as the result ,only pain youll feel

and trust me it hurt badly...

the pain killing me,is killing me,is killing me

but know i know the fate plays me well

now i could see what the world is about

show the core of the heartless soul

dun need a cure,the pain is satifying

shattered my soul into pieces

break my heart like a glass

and juz leave me alone

PILIHAN MEMBUNUH PERSAHABATAN...

 kini aku tahu pilihan yang melukakan hati aku itu adalah pilihan yg terbaik untukku

dunia ku banyak pilihan

yg mengaburi mata dan mengkusutkan minda

 kerana pilihan menentukan jalan hidup setiap manusia

salah pilihan kita terjatuh pilihan yg tepat kita bangun

namun apabila perasaan mencampuri fikiran

pilihan yg dipilih melukakan hati semua orang

dan pilihan yang terbaik ialah menggunakan pemikiran

walaupun melukakan hati

percintaan atau persahabatan

pilhan yg sering menggangu minda 

menjaga hati atau melukakan hati

pemikiran dan hati memainkan peranan

dlm kekalutan minda dan  kecelaruan hati

pilihan yg dibuat membunuh persahabatn

namun pilihan itu akan merugikan

kerana cinta dtg berjuta kali,dan persahabatan cuma sekali

a teddy bear for you

 i bought a teddy bear juz for you...

a teddy bear i saw

patches in its head and body

with a heart in its chess

with a smiley on its face

it represented you

the patches shows how u save me

from the hole in my heart 

and from the lonelyness that i barely stand

the heart of the teddy

represent how u give me love

that brighten the darkness of my heart 

without u im still lost

the smiley makes me think of you

everytime u smile it make me smile

and when u stop smiling the day  darker

so smile all the time and bright up my day

juz feels happy like the teddy that always smile

so i will be at ur side like u always do

give u the love that u deserve

smiling everytime i see you..

and try to be the perfect person for you

sekarang aku ada di sisi mu...seperti kau juga disisi ku..

ENCIK KUMBANG SELALU MENGHAMPAKAN CIK BUNGA..

AKAN ENCIK KUMBANG TEBUSKAN..BERMULA DGN PUISI INI....

disaat aku terluka dia ada di sebelah aku

walaupun ku tak sedar yg dia sentiasa ada

kerana aku terlalu megharap yang lain

dan itu telah menutup mata ku

dalam setiap langkah ku dia bersembunyi di balik bayang2

berharap aku akan sedari perasaan nya terhadap ku

dia sanggup menangis, menyimpan perasaan'

demi kebahagiaan ku.

setiap puisi yg ku nukilkan dia membaca nya

berharap ada ku nukilkan untuknya

walaupun kadangkala hampa

dia setia menunggu

namun aku belum terlambat..

kerana ku telah lihat dia di balik bayang2 itu

dan aku akan keluarkan dia dari bayang2 itu

kerana dia aku mara walau dgn hati susah

kata2 semangat yg hanya dia yg beri

agar aku bangkit dari tejatuh

walau hati nye terluka..

dia tak penah putus harap terhadap ku

rangkap terakhir INI aku ucapkan

terima kasih dan akan aku pertahan kan dirimu sedaya upaya

agar ko terima selayaknya..

sekarang aku ada di sisi mu...seperti kau juga disisi ku..

PUISI KHAS UNTUK N.A(CIK BUNGA)

aku undurkan diri...

nothing personal..

nafas yg ku helah terhenti
bila dia hadir kepadamu

dan bila langit itu mendung

dan dia berkata padaku

ku tahu...

ku harus pergi meninggalkan dirimu

dia layak untuk mu lebih dari diriku...

dan bila saat itu tiba 

anggaplah ku mencintai dirimu

dan berharap bahagia kau dan dia..

langkah ku akan perlahan

namun ku teruskan jua

walau tanpa diri mu kerna ku akur

yg manusia biasa akan terluka

demi mencari cinta dan

ku menghapus jejak ku

agar ku tiada lagi

dlm kisah hidup mu..

dan jagn la ko menganggap diriku pengecut

ku cuma mahu kau bahagia dgn temanku itu

kerna cintaku lebih dri segala gala nya..

biarkan aku pergi  meniggalkan dirimu..

bukan ku tak cinta 

cuma ku mahu dian dan kau bahagia